Thursday, November 23, 2006

Headache

I have slightly more than a month to go before No. 2 arrives. There are 2 things which I'm cracking my head with. 1st : No. 2's name Daddy and I can't decide on a name for No.2. We wanted a two syllables name which starts with Z and ends with A. That doesn't leave us much choice. Daddy doesn't like my choice of names, and I don't like his choices. Anybody has any names to recommend? (Some jokers have suggested Zebra. Well, even if they named their kids Hippo or Oinky, we still won't name ours Zebra) 2nd : What are we to do with Zara when I have to be in the hospital to have the baby? When Zara was born, Daddy was in the hospital with me the 2nights I stayed there. Now, Zara has never slept without either one of us at her side. I'm not sure what we are going to do when I have to be admitted this time. 1) Have Daddy stay at home with her, so I'll be alone in the hospital? 2) Have her stay with us in the hospital together? We asked her if she would be ok to sleep at home with Kakak when mummy goes to the hospital. She said, "Cannot. I want to sleep with mummy only." The only person she's willing to sleep with without mummy is Sam, her favourite jie-jie. She said, "Can sleep with Sam jiejie, mummy stay in hospital." For those who have two kids, what do you do with no. 1 when you were in the hospital giving birth to no. 2? ~~~~~~~~~ . ~~~~~~~~~ Zara is getting more and more clingy even with Tuyam back. They can play together, Tuyam can feed and change her; but when it comes to nap time, Zara would be whining for me, "I want mummy to sleep with Zara." When it's time for her evening bath, and if Daddy wanted to bath her, she would say, "Don't want Daddy. Want mummy do only. Mummy do, mummy do." followed by crying if we don't oblidge. At night, only I can sleep next to her. If Daddy stayed on too long at her side after saying good night to her, she would say, "Daddy sleep there (pointing to Daddy's side of the bed)." or "Daddy go down (from my bed)" If Daddy lied on her bed. Yesterday, when Daddy got her things ready and wanted to brush her teeth (most days I do the brushing), she told Daddy, "Daddy brush la. Use Zara's toothpaste, use Zara's tooth brush. Ok? Daddy brush la, use Zara's water to rinse mouth. Zara don't want". I wonder how I will be able to cope with a clingy 2 year old, and a new baby.

55 comments:

angie said...

How about...

1. Zeyra (pronounced as 'zei rah')
2. Zeyna

Will give more when I think of any!

:)

Mother Superior said...

Having been in hiatus for a long while, here's what came to mind from my brain juice. Two syllable Z to A name:

Zinnia - that's my kids' piano teacher's name
Zenia
Zania
Zanya
Zella

More, but Z to E:
Zanelle
Zayne

But definitely not:
Zalla
Zillie
Zinnie
Zaza
zebra

:-p

Anonymous said...

I have been reading your blog for a while and this is the first time I leave a comment since I had the same headache as yours when I was going to have my number 2.

Derek was 29 months old when Erin was born. He was taken care by a babysitter who is also my neighbour when I go to work (actually we work in the same company ;)) and I will pick him up after work. He had never spent a night with the babysitter before. When my due date was near, I had made arrangement with the babysitter that he will spend the first night with the babysitter while hubby stays with me in the hospital since I was immobile for the first night due to C-Sect(breech baby). Second night hubby went home so that Derek was able to sleep with daddy when I was able to get down from the bed.

In your case, you probably have to get Zara to sleep with someone whom she is comfortable with starting now.

It took me a while to adjust my routine after having 2 kids e.g. Derek had become extra naughty due to attention seeking and some other things. You will be able to cope, although it's tough in the beginning.

geetha said...

Hmm, I checked some on the web.. Here are some suggestions. You may further check what these name mean.

zandra
zanna
zasha
zelda
zia
ziya

We tried leaving 1 with MIL, a few days b4 I delivered, but he didn't like staying there at nights. We gave up and said we shall leave it till the time comes.

On the day I was admitted (9.30pm), hubby spent the night with me, visited the boys at about 6.00 (knowing that I won't deliver within an hour or two.

After delivery, Champion visited me with MIL. We kept some balloons for him (it was his favourite item then) and he was happy receiving it. He did not feel our absence when we kept him occupied. We could see that he was a little quieter, but still manageable. Spend a while in the hospital and left with them again. That night, hubby stayed with me and visited him the next morning again when he went home to take his bathe.

Somehow, Champion was gem. All the while he didn't like staying with MIL, that one 2 days, he didn't mind.

The 1st week, I was at my mom's. Hubby and Champion would visit me in the nights.. as Champion stayed at MIL so that he doesn't cling to me and tire me. But alas, within a week, he was down with fever. He couldn't stay away. So, I went back home and stayed with him and hubby.

Zara can try spending one night with Sam. Do it once every week, if she is comfortable. Its best that she is used to it..

As you would have read, let him spend some time with the baby, kiss, touch and all those things. They might throw things on them out of jealousy. Champion did it once (luckily). So always watch out.

Keep Zara occupied with her favourites when you are busy.. feeding, changing. She loves painting, playing favourite toy, reading books to sister, etc.

Allyfeel said...

I think it's best you leave zara with Sam jie jie since zara doesn't mind so that you and hubby can concerntrate on the newborn as u know sometimes things get a bit kelam-kabut one.

Zara's daddy also can go in the labour room with u ma... I think kids are not allowed right?

may said...

really must stick with a name beginning with Z, ending with A? I can only think of Zora, or Zandra.

hmmm, looks like you have a little more than a month to train Zara to sleep with just daddy, and alternate it with Sam jiejie.

domesticgoddess said...

both times my hubs didn't stay with me in the hospital... but for my 2nd baby, i sent my boy to stay with my parents.

as for names, ermm...what about
- Zasha
- Zarya
- Zelia

Sasha said...

Zandra's nice. Zasha like my name. Cannot just have name start with Z or end with RA meh?

Anonymous said...

JS was very attached to me, at that time beside me, she's only willing to stay with the babysitter.But my hubby family was agaisnt the thought of putting her there, so I have to leave JS with MIL. Tried to get her use to staying with the granny by moving to MIL's place 2 weeks b4 delivery, having SIL around at MIL"s place etc etc) but still that night that I wasn't home, she cried and vomitted at home.

Lucky it was a very short and fast delivery, I "shoo" hubby back to MIL's place an hour after delivery (admitted 7pm, all done by 10pm) and JS was crying looking for me when hubby reached MIL's place.When saw daddy, she relunctantly allow daddy to put her to sleep that night.

We dare not let her visit me at the hospital the next day, fear that she would refuse to go, she only came to the hospital the day I discharged. So most of the 3 days 2 nights that I spent in the hospital was only baby n me

Sasha said...

got more from babycentre..got alot of nice names..

must be egghead that recommended ZEBRA LA!!!

Zada — "Lucky one"
Zahara — "Flower"
Zahra — "Shine, blossom"
Zaida — "Growth"
Zaila — "Female"
Zaira — "Princess"
Zandra — "Helper and defender of mankind"
Zaneta — "God is gracious"
Zarea — "Princess"
Zaria — "Princess"
Zarra — "Princess, flower"
Zazu — "Movement"
Zea — "Wheat"
Zeinab — "Timorous"
Zelda — "Grey battle"
Zelde — "Happiness"
Zelia — "Zeal"
Zena — "Form of xenia. hospitality"
Zenaide — "Daughter of zeus"
Zene — "Beautiful"
Zenia — "Hospitable"
Zenobia — "Given life by zeus"
Zerlinda — "Beautiful dawn"
Zeva — "Sword"
Zevida — "Gift"
Zia — "Kind of grain"
Zina — "Name"
Zinaida — "Zeus"
Zinia — "Brilliant flower"
Zinnia — "From the flower"
Zirrea — "Princess"
Zita — "Patron of housewives and servants"
Ziva — "Aglow, splendor"
Zizi — "Dedicated to god"
Zoe — "Life"
Zoey — "Life"
Zohar — "Light, brilliance"
Zoie — "Life"
Zola — "Life"
Zona — "A girth"
Zoniah — "Wisdom"
Zonya — "Wisdom"
Zonyah — "Wisdom"
Zora — "Dawn"
Zoria — "Princess"
Zsuzsa — "Lily"
Zula — "Brilliant, ahead"
Zulaykha — "Potiphar's wife"
Zuza — "Graceful lily"
Zuzanny — "Lily"
Zahirah — "Shining, luminous"
Zarah — "Coming of dawn"
Zareh — "Princess, flower"
Zary — "Princess"
Zaynab — "A beautiful, fragrant plant"
Zillah — "Shade"

huisia said...

How about send Zara to your sister's place earlier to train her to sleep without you? Maybe the first and second nights she will cry, but sure she will get used of it.

I think it's not suitable to bring her along to hospital, since that time you already tired, then what to do if she suddenly whine there? It's tough for you LOL!

Anonymous said...

girl or boy?

congratulations anyway.

sesame said...

Wow, got a lot of suggestions already. Zebra...what a joke!

Having to deal with a clingy Zara sounds tricky. If she doesn't mind Sam, then let her spend the night over with her and get Sam over. I think it'll be good for you to have your hubby around and also, not to neglect the 2nd one in that sense.

Or else just bring Zara over and get her involved. But how to bring her into the delivery room?

laundryamah said...

Zandra is nice..so is Zoe..but Zoe is like more common...

As for Zara, it's a phase I guess, for me it's different cos Kieran was oredi so big..but he was also very difficult, crying out for attention all the time. He was close to my mom so he stayed with my mom...

L B said...

Haha, I STILL think Zebra is cute!!! Gotta think outside the Box! There are Apples around now too, so nothing that weird with Zebra! *oops, waiting to be smacked again*

mott said...

Zara's Mama....Zara will be fine. You just focus on you and your baby...You make sure that two of you are ok..so that both of you can go home together to be with the big jie-jie..ok?

Don't worry too much now. Focus on what's important. NO matter what, you'll be able to cope with it. The lil one will be easy to take care of. You just do your best when you can..ok? ONE DAY AT A TIME!

michelle said...

Do I get a gift if the name is picked?

Zlyvia as in Slyvia
Zasha as in Sasha
Ztaysia
Zita

Not Ending with A:
Zhanie as in Shanie
Zian
Zin-E

Z-ya :P

Zara's Mama said...

Angie,
Thanks.. hmmm…

Mother Superior,
We’ll definitely not use the ones listed under ‘definitely not’ :P

Anon,
Gosh.. I really don’t know whom she can sleep with except my maid Tuyam.

Geetha,
Thanks for sharing your experience with Champion.
Aargh.. the names.. the names.. I still can’t decide.

Allyfeel,
Sam jiejie may not be available during that time, that’s the problem. And it’s not fair to ask a 9yr old to be her babysitter. Anyway.. still scratching the head.

May,
Must.. so that they are related to ‘Zara’. :P Tough huh?
I guess this round I’ll have to be without Daddy, and train Zara to sleep with him.

Domesticgoddess,
He had slept with your parents before the arrival of your 2nd one?
Thanks for the names. *jotting down*

Anon,
Oh boy, not lonely, being all by yourself?

Sasha,
The one daddy wants is in your list, but the one I want is not in.

Huisia,
Tough tough tough.. Eldest sis’ got Tasha to look after, youngest kid er.. have 2 big boys to look after. *sigh*
Aigh.. maybe I should leave her at home with Daddy huh?

Anon,
Err, you must be new to my blog. Girl.. it’s in my lilypie tracker.

Sesame,
I’m checking with Sam, but she’s only 9, not fair to impose such responsibility on her, esp it’s her school holidays and she wants to enjoy as well.
I guess if we let her stay with us, we’ll have to pick her up after I’d delivered. She’s fine in the day time with Tuyam, but at night, she prefers me.

Laundryamah,
Zoe not ending with A ler. :(
Aah.. at least he has your mum huh?

LB,
*piak*

Mott,
Thanks for the encouragement. I need it!

Michelle,
Yes, you’ll get a prize if your suggestion is picked.

shoppingmum said...

There already lots of names listed, so I'm out of idea.

But about hospital stay, I put Justin to bed and only admit after midnight. I already told him that I might not be around when he woke up, and would be giving birth to mei mei.

So, when he woke up, hubby brought him to me and Isabelle. Pls prepare a gift from baby to Zara too.

Justin was with me most of the time, and at night, I told him mommy needed to rest and would be back with bb tomorrow. He understood and slept with daddy.

Don't worry, I think Zara will understand and things will come easy then.

Jenn said...

It's hard but when I was carrying my second, about 2-3 months before delivery, we moved Rae, my older to her own room. We painted it pink and then started our separation ritual. Hard at first but after a while, she was satisfied with the door left open, the night light on, and music. It's just hard at first.

Remember that things get harder AFTER you're home. Your attn will be with second one (pls don't name your child Zena! Zayna is nice, not Zeeeena) and worse is Zara will notice it, so the sooner u get her to see that it's NOT the baby that's making you go away (which is why u must do it NOW before baby comes), the better.

Im sure uve heard of buying two presents when baby comes. Leave one with Zara and take one with u to the hosp. When u come home with baby, or the first time the sisters meet, do a presnt exchange. It's like a peace offering. THis is for when baby celebs her first month/first year, Zara will remember she's getting presents BECAUSE it's her birthday and not because u love baby more and dont love Zara anymore.

Good luck!

Simple American said...

Wow. It looks like previous visitors have a nice name list for you. So are you going from A to Z if you catch my drift. :)

When my son was born my daughter was 18 months. She stayed with a baby sitter as we both worked. So when my wife went to labor we sent her to the baby sitter's house and she was fine with that. The next day I went to Toys R Us with the girl and got some stuffed toys. One for her and one for her brother. Then we went to the hospital and she met her brother.

If she is comfortable with Samm I suggest you work something out that includes her. Hopefully with school holiday this will not inconvenience anyone too much.

Poor dad. As far as clingy Zara goes, let her help you with the baby where she can. Then she will not feel rejected when you do have to do things with #2 and she cannot assist.

domesticgoddess said...

Oh yes he has stayed with my parents...e.g when i went on biz trips. Actually my mom babysits my children when I work :P so naturally there's no problem for them to stay overnight there.

jazzmint said...

wahh..u sure have a lot of names to choose from all the comments above ;)..daddy n mommy always have diff opinion, I was stuck in that as well.

i left my girl with MIL when I was at hosp since she's pretty attached to MIL, I had no problem. They came over to visit in the morning after I gave birth and Faythe gave me a funny look, but she was showing my signs that she knows I'm tired and needed some rest. I'm sure Zara will be very understanding as well...no worries yah

chanelwong said...

tough...why don't leave Zara with someone she is comfortable with. hope I can help but no experience to share...
Do update us yar

ah pek said...

wo... long time no come visit liao.

zakaria is a very popular name now what.

Nadia said...

Whoa.. I wish you all the best. I hope Zara will behave better and not be as clingy when No. 2 arrives. And yeah, try leaving her with Sam for a night, see how it goes. Well, good luck!! =)

See Fei said...

Z means she will be always last in Q? I have decided mine will be all A... like

Ah Tak
Ah Chu
Ah Kow

muahahaha....

Annie said...

Zaliza
Zalina
Zarina
Zakaria
Zuraida
Zunaida
Zura
Zana
Zazuka
Zina??

m just joking...I like Zasha

Don't worry, shun tow kiu tao ci yin zek (boat sampai jeti sendiri straight!). How many days are u staying in the hospital. If only one nite, then make that one nite as the trial for Zara to sleep with Tuyam..?.If she's okay, then good!, If fails, no need to try again. Anyway, kids are very unpredictable. One nite ok, another nite not.

The last time, I let my daugther sleep with babysitter. I drilled into her that I'll be giving birth in hospital, I won't be well to stay at home. Told her about the hospital, the doctor, the baby. And most of all, I'LL BE HOME AGAIN VERY SOON and SHE'LL HAVE A SISTER/BROTHER and SHE'LL BE A JIE JIE THEN!! Told her not to worry about me. I think you can bring Zara to the hospital during the day. She won't be clingy when seeing u on the bed in that "uniform". Paling teruk only climb onto the bed and sleep beside u! hahaha... "The Doctor says..." helps alot!! I actually get my gynae to talk to her ...when she insist me to carry her. It works! My gynae is wonderful, he din say anything to scare her, just nicely told her to walk more, so that her legs will grow.

milkmaid said...

So many suggestions already....I'm sure you'll come to a consensus in the end...share with us your experience so that I can prepare myself for #2....not in the near near future though

Samm said...

The name thing, i nonid to input lah. Got so many edi, hoh. As for me, IF i do get #3, naming no problem. Also got boy/girl name edi. The #2 part, i went thru the same thing. Initially, tot we'd get a private suite so that all can be in room for like 3 - 4 nights. But then, no luck. room right next to construction site as hosp undergoing expansion.

So, at the end, Gordon was fine with papa. if possible, get ur hubs to take leave so that zara wont feel lonely w/o u. and both can come visit 2 or 3x a day. mm seh tak leh.... i had the same feeling. Gordon was with me 24/7 since birth. if zara girl wanna be with sam jiejie, by all means let her. better than having her pining for u all day long mah. sum toong sei lohh.

Moreover, u'd want lots of rest too. So, u decided to go for natural birth again this time or wanna try caesar after my previous post on Malcolm's birth in graphic details?

babykhong said...

I've been thinking the same problem as well on how to deal with Brae when I deliver. *scratch head* Hmmm...hubby is not worried at all. I think we just plan when the time comes. But I hope Brae can stay together with us at the hospital after the delivery.

KittyCat said...

I got my sis to do the 'present from the baby' thing for my nieces. I think it was tough at first but then, the younger one went towards the elder when their Mum scolded he he

My elder sis didn't take my coming that well though - I always kena cubit by her!!!

I like Zandra, Zayna and Zeta Happy choosing :)

13th Panda said...

Zelea?

Zasha?

hmm, hard to find a name

Vyvy said...

the zebra joke make me burst out of laughing hahahaha.

I got a colleague name Zana and i think it's quite nice

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Fannie said...

Zeta is what I think of...

Hope u can find a nice name soon :)

Anonymous said...

What a strange way to pick a name. Don't be forced into choosing a name to start with Z and end wth A just to match your first born. Zara is a beautiful name but don't force yourself to choose something similar. Choose a name that you like, a name that has a good meaning, a name that is not too weird which your cild might grow up hating.
Are you maybe subconsciously choosing a name to match Zara's because you want no 2 to be like Zara because Zara is so fantastic? Remember that every child is an individual!
Anyway, all the best.
Just another mummy.

Anonymous said...

Whoops, I meant child .... not cild, obviously.

Anonymous said...

Zandra is a very pretty name!

Goodluck!

Shannon said...

wah, so many suggestions... but it's difficult hoh...
Wishing u guys all the best in shortlisting the names... But i see a lot of Zasha, Zandra, Zura (Zhura)

What about Zeya??

IMMomsDaughter said...

I like Zoey & Zandra. Oklah I'm no help :)

When I delivered Mei Mei, I spent 2 nights in the hospital alone. Hubby had to take care of Ryan, so I am ok with that. Afterall, it's the 2nd time and I feel more experienced and confident. No regrets :)

domestic rat said...

How about Zaena and Zaelia? :-)

TWO LITTLE FELLAS said...

1st: i'm not good with names. sorry.

2nd: well, actually the headache extend beyond that 2 nights.
leave the headache to daddy..he will cope..don't over exert yourself...afterall, you need to rest and recover too.

Zara's Mama said...

Shoppingmum,
Yes, I already prepared a gift for her from her mei mei.
I hope Zara will be as understanding as Justin.

Jenn,
Thanks for the tips about presents exchange. I didn’t know about having the older kids give the new baby a gift, especially for her full moon/first birthday.

Simple American,
I got a confinement lady to help out during the first month, so that I can still spend time with Zara while not fully occupied with caring for the baby, hope this will help. I think I’ve more or less decided that Daddy will sleep at home with Zara, while I spend the night(s) in the hospital.

Domestic Goddess,
Aah.. that’s the difference. We have never have Zara slept with any one besides us.

Jasmine,
Hopefully she’ll be understanding.

Chanel,
Will definitely keep you posted.

Ah Pek,
Aisay, my baby is a girl lar. Zakaria cannot.

Nadia,
Thanks. I needed the luck. :P

See Fei,
You forgot, Ah Lian and Ah Beng, most popular Singaporean names. :P

Annie,
Your girl is much older when Didi came.. probably more mature. Anyway, maybe I can use your tip, ask my gynae to speak to her. :P

Milkmaid,
Hmm.. don’t speak too soon, suddenly no. 2 on the way liao. Kaka.

Samm,
Definitely trying for natural again.. your graphic details scared the shit out of me. :P Daddy will be on paternity leave definitely, and I plan to let him sleep at home with Zara, while I be alone in the hospital. Then both of them can come and visit me during the day.

Babykhong,
Staying together?? Hey, let me know if your hospital offers that kind of service.

Kittycat,
Even now you still kena cubit-ed?

13th Panda,
Hard hor? Anyway short listed liao.

Vyvy,
Zana.. hmm.. let me tell hubby.

Anon,
Sorry.. knocked on the wrong door?

Fannie,
Already shortlisted.

Anon1,
Aah.. no.. we’re not doing this because we want no. 2 to be like Zara (of course, if she turns out to be like her, we’re happy). It’s just to have that identity, that they are from the same family. A lot of people do that nowadays if you are not aware.

Anon2,
Thanks.. Looks like Zandra is a popular choice. :P

Shannon,
Zeya? Can consider.. My hubby is quite fussy too.. *sigh*

Immomsdaugther,
Zoey doesn’t end with A woh.
Yeah, I think we’ll do that too, I stay in the hospital alone, and have Daddy stay at home with Zara at night.

Domestic Rat,
Hmm.. good names.. *writing down in my list*

Two Little Fellas,
Haha.. you are good.. Yes, leave that to Daddy.. :P

Simple American said...

You know it may be rough on Zara and Daddy. But in the end it may improve their bond too. :)

Mummy to Sharwyn & Shaynnen said...

Hi Zara's mummy...been reading your blog for a long time. Really amazed at how well Zara speak (negotiate)..my eldest gal is few weeks older than Zara but she is still at 1-word phase....(sigh)..

Well, for suggested names for your 2nd princess...I hve one more to add to your list. "Zydia".

And for the hospital visit, this is what we did. Hubby has to leave me and fetch my FIL, helper and eldest girl home and waited till she fell asleep before sneaking back to the hospital. I forget to add...my eldest girl - Sharwyn sleep only at 12midnite...at times even 1am...so for the 1st nite, they left hospital at 11pm, lull her to sleep by 1am and came back to hospital at 2am....really tiring for my hubby but no choice.

Well, Zara sleep early...so you may hve to get her to sleep in the hospital first before fetching her home.

Sabrina said...

What about....


Zandria
Zaxia
Zenevieva
Zinerva
Zabrina
Zavrina
Zelma
Zandra
Zola
Zelda
Zaneta
Zarahlinda
Zehira
Zemira
Zerlinda
Zanetta
Zita as in Catherine Zita Jones..

mom2ashley said...

how about zoe? doesn't end with an 'a' but it's two syllables and starts with z and sounds nice.

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Dancing Queen said...

I was just thinking of your second girl's name and the name ZELDA popped up! Then I read of your predicament. What a coincidence! Think it's a nice name! Do consider! :-)

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zeyna as suggested by angie sounds nice .. :) when i was due with Darien, we left Denisha with the nursery overnight and its the worse night ever. I was so worried about her cos she never stays away from us. And she didn't sleep well too .. kept waking up and crying. The next day I had Daddy pick her to the hospital. At that time she was 14 months. So i think your case would be much better. It was really tiring for both of us in the beginning .. working, caring for an infant and meeting the demands of a toddler is really mentally draining plus we don't have any helper! Now our life is so much better .. they are both older now.

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