Shocker!

We were back from Bali yesterday evening. In the middle of last night, I felt nausea, gas was building up in my stomach and bitter bile pushed itself up to my throat. I had to go to the toilet to throw up. I thought I was getting some form of food poisoning from the trip, but then, I also thought if it was remotely possible that I was ...? In the morning, I did a test, I saw 2 lines. But then, I didn't believe myself, the test kit I have was a cheapo one, don't know if I could trust it . I went to the Dr to confirm. And the result is, yes, there are 2 lines! 2nd line is faint but visible. If all goes well, Zara will be a real 'jie-jie' (Chinese: elder sister) in early Jan. It is a shocker to me because I didn't expect it to come so soon. I was feeling a bit anxious. Another one means double the expenses; Zara is now more or less independent (can play on her own, tell me what she needs if she wants some thing), to think that I have to start all over again gives me a headache. I have not been taking care of myself (unlike when I had Zara, I was in my optimum health), will everything be ok? I love Zara with all my heart, do I still have the capacity to love another? Oh boy, what a shocker!