Sunday, November 06, 2005

Part 1 – The visits to the Back Lane Doctor

Daddy and I got married end of 1998 after courting for 6years. We decided to try for a baby immediately since both of us were not that young any more. Little did we know it would take us another 6 years before we have a baby in our arms. I never used to have regular menstrual cycle since I first got my period, in a year, sometimes, I only got 2 periods; but it never bothered me (less PMS, fewer ‘inconveniences’, why bother?). My mum brought me to see several gynaes about my ‘problem’, but I never really paid attention to what the Drs said, and the treatment was always to put me on the (contraceptive) pill to regulate my cycle, which I didn’t really take because the first time I took it, I put on ~ 10Kg in a month! After close to a year of trying, with the irregular period and all, needless to say, we didn’t succeed. One of my close friend suggested that I go to this famous Dr in Pudu for treatment. She had an aunt who was not able to conceive after 7years of trying and after getting treated by this Dr, she had a baby. Maybe I was very naïve, or I trusted this friend so much, I went to this run down Clinic for women in Pudu with her. The Dr was an elderly and suspicious looking man. One ultra sound scan on the belly, and he said he knew what my problem was. I had to come back the following week for a simple procedure. Daddy, who was very doubtful, told me I needed to really find out what my problem was, what ‘procedure’ the Dr was talking about. I must be so desperate I had a row with him, I told him this was a good Dr, he had many success cases, we just had to trust him etc. He budged when he knew he wouldn’t be able to convince me. I went back the next week with Daddy. When it was our turn to see the Dr, Daddy tried to ask the Dr what my problem was, and what he was going to do. The Dr mumbled something (which didn’t make sense to both of us), I stared at Daddy and whispered through seething teeth “I’m doing it!”. What happened after was pretty frightening. I don’t know why I was so gullible and stubborn, and willing to go ahead with the Dr’s plan, whatever it was. After he'd paid, Daddy was told to wait in the waiting room with all the rest of heavily made up, skimpily dressed ladies with multi coloured hair; while I was asked to take off all my clothings, and put on only a hospital robe, then I was brought into a room. The room was curtained into two sections. I was asked to lie down on a bed and propped my legs up. I saw on the other side of the curtain, another lady was propped up the same as me. I was getting scared, what the hell he was going to do to us propped up like that? I didn’t get to find out, because immediately after that, a mask was put over me, and I drifted off to unconsciousness. When I woke up, I was already in a ward filled with other semi conscious ladies. I asked for Daddy. They went to get him. When he came in to join me, he looked worried. It has been more than 5hours since he waited. They wouldn’t let him see me before I awaken. What did the Dr do to me? Did he know? He said he didn’t. I didn’t as well. I only felt a pain in the abdomen area, and I knew I was bleeding down there, and I was still feeling dizzy, everything was still in a daze. A nurse came to say I could leave now. We walked out of the ward, back into the Dr’s waiting area. I wobbled to the reception area and asked if we could see the Dr. The nurse said he was very busy, many patients more to see. We demanded to know what was done to me. The nurse mumbled something. “What is it? What is the procedure called?” I asked, flustered. She continued to mumbled something, a term we’d not heard before. I asked her to write it down to me. Because I was feeling really weak, we didn’t pursue the matter and went back home. When we got back, we searched the net, we could not find anything on the ‘procedure’ done on me. I forgot what the term given to us was. I believed the term never existed. I suspected what had been done to me was a D&C; that the Dr was a famous Dr for getting rid of unwanted pregnancies. Up till today, what really was done to me in that room remains a mystery. I never wanted to go back to that shit place. I never forgave myself for being so foolish. To think that I was once so stupid! What if something went wrong and I was never able to have a baby. What if he was a sick man who did things to his patients when they were knocked out. The terrible possibilities were there.


nalie said...

whoa.. that's scary

mom2ashley said...

my gosh! how dodgy is that!???? you should report him.

shiaulin said...

OMG! yes i agreed with dinah u should have report him.

Fannie said...

er...u didn't intend to probe further on what was done on u?

If i were wat Dinah and shiaulin said, i would hv reported the case!

Hw abt checking it out with ur friend again? Tho' it happened quite some time ago...

Helen said...

It's easy to look back and shudder at the decision we made. It is hard to decide whether we did the right thing given the info and circumstances we are in now. You did not have the luxury then of knowing what u did now.

Don't think too much about it. I'm not saying everyone should seek out these sinsehs, but, the most important thing is you did what u believed was necessary given your circumstances then. :-)

It's little thoughts like these that reminded us the many things in life we took for granted.

Great posting!

Sue said...

that was scary, and your hubby must have been worried sick for 5 hours! but like helen said, most circumstances we're in makes us make funny "on the spur" decisions... can only be thankful nothing too bad happened and you have a beautiful daughter now

blurblur said...

Gosh, that was scary!

Personally, i'm actually touch by your courage and determination to go through this "mysterious" procedure in the hope of trying to conceive!

Can't wait to read the next few parts...this was really well written!

Lazymama said...

That was really scary.....I just couldn't imagine myself in that situation. Luckily you are now safe and sound!

Waiting for your part 2! Very kan cheong!

Egghead said...

wah lau!! really desperate hor!!
hmmm... you should avoid this kinda "crazy" ideas in the future... who knows what that "Dr" did to you... may even have long term effects leh!
anyhow... I still can understand the stress you've been through...

Allyfeel said...

Let the pass be the pass. The most important thing is you are a happy mummy with a happy baby. :)

Zara's Mama said...

Yup very.

Dinah, Shiaulin,
I'm just happy no side effect after whatever he did to me.
Actually can't report him, he made us sign some forms, I was stupid, so I'm to blame.

My friend felt so bad after I told her what happened.
She couldn't really tell me what her aunt went through as well. But I really suspect it's D&C, some ppl say after D&C, your chances of getting pregnant higher for that short period of time.

Thanks for the encouring words. Well it's over already, and I have Zara. So it's quite a consolation.

Yeah. I finally have her. A big consolation.

Some friends said I'm really willing to put up with a lot of shit(procedure) just to get pregnant. Well, I just thought I'd do whatever I can, then if I didn't get successful, at least I know I tried (very hard).

Thanks. I wanted to post all 6 together, but that'll be too heavy reading. Since I'm very chiong hei one.

yeah, trying for a baby is very stressful one. Esp if the problem lies with you.

yup yup yup!

Twin said...

really scary .. u feeling ok now? He's illegal isn't it. B really careful next time. There are so many crazy people out there.

maria said...

I think I almost went to the Dr you visited. infact I have almost gone to see and try a lot of those once-try-sure-got, and once-see-sure-got.

year 2000 after two year I married I also became desparate, then my friend also told me that was this Once-see-sure-got dr., but I more cautious about this, I believe can't be once-see-sure-got kind of thingy, and Twinsdad not familiar with the area too, so we never go see this dr.

But whatever happe just let it be, you already have Zara isn't it wanderful :).

Annie said...

very scarrryyyy....

ky said...

6 years was a long time, and I can understand why you will try on every possible avenue. Good thing you survived from that whatever horrible nonsense.

Anonymous said...

speechless... have to wear specs to see properly next time... if the place run down... think again.. i know you'll try all sorts of stunt to get a baby... but be very careful not to get yourself into an "alien abduction" situation.. sounds so dangerous and scary... take care u..

KA said...

I feel for you... know that in the quest for a baby, the tolerance that one can go through is extremely high... thats the love we have for the kids that are still unborne, or unconceive.

2 thumbs up for your courage and happy to see that everything works out for you in the end.


Sue said...

Jesus, Luckily you were ok. But I still wonder what did happend to you. I also went tru a rough road before getting a present from god (my baby) so I do understand how you end up making such decision.