Friday, November 11, 2005

Part 7 : Little Zara, At Last

We were lucky, we were told. It was a clean miscarriage. Nothing remained in my uterus, everything was ‘expelled’, there was no need to do a D&C (which can be quite damaging to the uterus). It was actually quite common for people to have miscarriages. 1 in 4 pregnancies, higher risk for people with PCOS; so it seemed. A consolation NOT. It my case, it was most likely caused by the genetic make up of the embroy, nature's way of purging away bad 'product'. Dr JL told us we could start trying again after 3 months. My Chinese Dr told me to try again only after 6 months as I should nurture my body back like someone who’d just given birth; and she prescribed 30days of confinement herbs for me. I continued my vigorous work out schedule to numb my senses (oh well, I have to admit I enjoyed it as well). I stopped my fertility treatment, but continued to see the Chinese Dr to nurture my health. We had sex, for the fun of it, it was no longer scheduled and I didn’t have to lift my legs up for 20minutes after our act. We celebrated our 5th year anniversary in a remote island and a national park in Thailand for a total of 10days, best trip ever. I threw a surprise birthday party for Daddy’s 40th birthday. That night, we were merry, he had a few oh-kao (Guiness Stout). He was in high spirit, surrounded by his best friends. When his friends left we went wild, we were all over each other we had mind boggling sex; and sod the condom! Zara was conceived that night. On the 1st few weeks of my pregnancy, I was obsessed, I went to the toilet to check for spotting every 30mins. I prayed that I won’t see any streak of blood. We went to St Anne’s Church to ask for protection and blessing. Promising we would bring our baby here to give thanks if all end up well. I drank the holy water diligently once every week. The pregnancy was kept hush hush until I saw her heart beat in the ultra sound, and no celebration until much later. I had to do an amniocentesis on my 16th week because of my age and also because my triple test came back positive. In the test, a long needle has to be poked into my belly to extract amnionic fluid. I was extremely worried, about the skill of the Dr, as well as the damage it could cause. I was assured by a friend, who worked with a lot of gynaes because of the nature of her job (I only knew her later or I wouldn't have met the other horrible Drs), that Dr JL is one of the best, because he has a lot of patients, and have a lot of experiance with carrying out the test. The first attempt, Zara was way too near to the skin of the belly, even with the Dr thumping his fingers on my skin, she wouldn't move! On the next attempt, I spoke to her before we went to the hospital and asked her to coorperate. In the scan, I could see her actually crouching at one corner. When the long needle was inserted into my tummy deftly, I prayed that she didn't move a muscle. The Dr casually said that if the result came back and the baby has genetic defect (Down Syndrome mainly), I could choose to terminate it (Wow, that is soo comforting). It was the longest 3 weeks of my life (to wait for the result)! When I got the result and knew every thing was fine (and confirmed she's a girl), we celebrated! During the rest of the pregnancy, I prayed that she would be strong and healthy and normal (not hideously ugly) every day. I wanted a vagina delivery. Dr JL did all he could to make sure I have one. When she was delivered, while enduring the pain, I prayed hard that she would be alright, no complication (and please, not now!!). When I heard her first cry, I forgot about the pain of child birth. When she was placed in my arms and I saw her for the first time, I was overwhelmed with emotions. I cannot describe the feelings I had. I thank God. What I’d gone through was worthwhile, she’s in my arms now, strong and healthy and normal, our little Zara. Daddy's very belated birthday present. Image hosted by Afterthought Even though the journey has been a long and bumpy one, we have been blessed. She’s our greatest joy. Occasionally, when we look at this little girl, Daddy and I still can't believe she's our daughter. I didn't mind sharing my experiance with those who were trying even before I had Zara; but I’m not sure without Zara, would I still have the courage to write this? People who have tried and wanted to give up, please don’t, I have my story to tell, because if I did, I would not have Zara now. People who have gotten pregnant unplanned and wanted to give up the child, please don’t; count your blessing; there are people who are doing all they can to conceive, so don’t take yours for granted. I had recommended the Chinese Dr to many people (some of them did get pregnant). Even if she didn’t help you with your conception, she would have made you healthier, so there’s really nothing to loose. If you are interested, here is her address: Chi Ren Chinese Medical Hall (濟仁) 63A, Jalan Petaling Utama 7, Batu 7, Jalan Klang Lama Tel # 77832341 Pls note she’s closed on both Mon & Tue Wed~Fri 10am~4pm Sat~Sun 10am~2pm Her charges is about RM50 per visit, with 1 week's herbs and medication.


Fannie said...

I can share your joy...

Spontaneous acts are better than planned ones right? :x

Anyway...All the best to your number 2!

Er...maybe can throw another party and have some stout...and...erm...u know lah...another junior might appear! :x

Zara's Mama said...

Haha, your suggestion is still decent. Some asked me & hubby to act out a rape scene. As it's so common for people to get raped and concieved (at least it movies it happened).

Milly said...

yeah..happy ending...!! now cry liao...!! hmm... next time must really really play wif zara... this precious child!!


jazzmint said...

wah liao...shed tears liao when i read that zara is born finally. God Bless all of you. My aunt was 9 years married and had like 6-7 miscarriage in between until finally got my cousin. Really salute all of these woman that never give up and keep trying :).

Fannie said...

LOL...Agnes, I nv knw u were so open to such funny ideas! LOL

U can also try the Doctor and patient or Maid and master thingy!!*laughs*

What Hubs and I love before EThyl came was...board game...:)

Just for the 2 of us kind...hehe...

maria aka twinsmom said...


Mother Superior said...

Dear, dear Agnes, I didn't dare say much during your accounts, but I am considering No. 3 but hv been worried sick about age & Down Syndrome. Must admit yr story has inspired me not to give up. Thanks much.

yl said...

you make me cry liao lahz... when you wrote about your miscarriage and all!! :'( i think Zara is very lucky coz i am sure you would try your best to be good parents... 需要努力的,得来不易的,通常都会被珍惜的。。。

Meira Pappi said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Sue said...

zara = sunshine after cheong meng yue (long life rain)

glad she's with us now and hope you won't give up on a play-pal for her... ie, your 2nd one :P

Egghead said...

a small kid with a heroin story behind her!! cool!!
understandably... it's hard to go through everything that you and your hubby did before Zara was born... however... I am sure your story will educate and inspire many people who are planning to starting a family :)

Allyfeel said...

Zara's mama, was so touching and inspiring. I think I will try for another one in the very near future.

hehe...may be oh-kao or Calsberg will help this time. :PpP

Lazymama said...

I am so touched by your story!

And the conceiving parts are very hot huh....:P

blurblur said...

Wow..Amazing! Heart Warming! Touching!

Zara is indeed a gift from God! Treasure her and all the best in your no. 2! :)

Zara's Mama said...

board game? like strip poker? :P

to me precious loh.

wow, your aunt also quite persistant. I don't know if I can handle another miscarriage. :-(


mother superior,
the amnio test can be quite daunting, but should be ok. If want to try for 3rd, don't wait too long.

雨后天晴. I hope I'll be good parent too, because I always remind myself it's so hard to get her.

yeah, 2nd one I hope don't have to wait too long. *finger cross*

thank you, and just want to tell some people not to give up, because putting yourself through with all these is a pain, and very discouraging, but the reward is worthwhile.

yeah, some alchohol will help. Just don't get drunk huh? kakaka.

not good for a parenting blog hor? *blush*

Zara's Mama said...

thanks. I think each one of us has our story to tell. That makes life interesting, isn't it?

Helen said...

I know u and your hubby worked hard. I'll like to think the mind boggling sex and happpy boozing did its part too... lol

Boy, nothing makes your day than a story with good ending.

Loc Kee said...

what?? lift your legs for 20mins?? i tot that was oli aunty aunty punya saying... but i doubt it work lo :<

anyway i like tha happppppy ending. Congrate Zara...

shiaulin said...



Annie said...

Zara's mama...thank you so much for sharing your story with us.... I am so touch....

Baby Smooches said...

somehow, the song is playing in my mind "it's getting hot in here..."
Say, I know of some friends who conceived when they're on a break after trying hard for a baby. When they least expect, the bud bloomeed!!

ky said...

Beautiful baby!

Twin said...

very detail .. interesting read. Glad everything is ok and Zara is a healthy baby. Time for #2. :)

Zara's Mama said...

esp if there's sex involved huh? :P

loc kee,
aiya, think it will help mah.

yeah. I was also thinking about that.
my 缘份 only came 6yrs later loh.

thank you for reading too.

babby smooches,
i think it helps if you actually enjoy the 'deed' instead of doing it robotically.

thank you.

yeah, trying for #2, just hope won't take too long.

KA said...

So happy for you... thanks for sharing your story.


Greenapple said...

wow, Zara's mum, i am touched by your story, so much! thanks for sharing your wonderful story with us. it has been a long journey instead. may you get your 2nd baby conceived real soon.

Zara's Mama said...

Thanks for reading.
How's your little one coming along?

Yes, a very long but fruitful journey. I hope the 2nd one don't have to be so long... but, it's really God's Will.

miracle said...

hi! zara mummy!
saw yr blog-address in herworld issue, it caught my attention, to log on to yr blog & find out more... after reading yr story,i've got to say you're a BRAVE lady & GOD must have heard your prayers!!! I wish GOD also listen to my prayers! after waiting for 5yrs, & finally had a little princess! you & yr hubby must have been soooooooo HAPPY when you knew you're finally having a baby! I myself had trouble of conceiving too! almost been thru all the stuff that you 've gone thru.But until today i'm still not pregnant yet! i did IUI too, & it was successful but the pregnancy didn't last too. I lost my BB in the 8th week also. therefore I truly understand all your pains & suffering that you went thru. i could feel the pain all over again inside me after reading your story.... your story made me realized something, MIRACLE will happen! but I guess I just have to patient & be strong in hoping miracle will also happen to me.....

Anonymous said...

Thanks for sharing your story. i am a PCOS patient also. After reading your story, i tell myself not to give up. Hope you can share with me more. my email

WMD: Wife, Mother, Daughter said...

I cannot help not leaving a comment. I shed tears of joy and despair as I read your journey to conceiving zara. Thanks for sharing it. Reading it reminds me to be thankful for my two little boys which were conceived without much fret or stress. Congrats on your second pregnancy.

Jean said...

Hi Agnes,
I have been following your blog silently & leaving msg once in a while but never read these posts of your journey of conceiving Zara.

As I read them just now, my eyes are welled up with tears. I'm really very touch by all that you have done or gone thru just to be a mother. This act is extremely heartwarming as you didn't give up after so many years of waiting.

Me too, also having the PCOS problem since young, now I have 1 lil gal (a miracle baby) & been trying a 2nd one & still trying, almost gave up.

But after reading your story, I will persist on & also try a chinese dr instead of just relying on western dr.

Thank you very much for sharing your life story with us. Thank you.

LH said...

wow .. wat a touching story ... good luck for ur 2nd one.

Sue said...

I'm glad god finally answered your prayers and send you little zara. He answered my prayers too and I've got little bernice. I'm very very happy for you. God bless your little angels.

Anonymous said...

i never knew that i will found someone that had gone through the same saddest day in my entire life.. miscarriage!!...well, i've gone through that twice before having my 15 months old baby gal now..only god know how lucky and happy i am to have her in my life..btw, me too only managed to conceived sucessfully after 5 yrs of marriage:)

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amanny said...

i am happy with your info sharing in this blog, it is helpful to me.

i need your advise and experience of consumed folic acid during pregnancy.
i have visited the chinese sensei that you recommended (Dr. Yap at Chee Ren), Dr. Yap is friendly and she is able to treat my health issues quite well.

Dr. Yap have studied that folic acid will causes autism/hyperactive to baby/child. i would like check with you, while your pregnancy with Dr. Yap's treatments, did you consumed Folic Acid?