Tuesday, December 06, 2005

I don't want to sleep alone

Zara is spending too many hours or nights sleeping in our bed with us. I really don't mind her sleeping with us, but our bed is a Queen size bed, and she's growing bigger, and tossing and turning more in the middle of the night. We have to squeeze ourselves to the sides of the bed so that she has more room in the middle. On a normal day, after I'd nursed her, I would lie on the bed with her until she's asleep. I would then carry her and placed her in her cot. If she woke up in the middle of the night, she would sit up, and start faking a cry. I have to then carry her to our bed, she normally will immediately fall back asleep when sandwiched between us, waking up only in the morning. This (wanting to come to our bed) can happen anytime from 1:30am to 5:30am. Yesterday, I tried to 'train' her to fall asleep in her cot. After nursing her, she's dopey and almost going to knock off; I put her into her cot. The minute she was laid down, she opened her eyes, her hand reached out for me. I said, "Zara big girl already, sleep on your own ok?". She sat up, tears welling up, and then the crying started. "Wah, Wah, Wah!". Very pitiful, her eyes following me. I told her, "mummy's bed is just next to you, you want mummy, mummy will come, but today you sleep on your own ok?" "Wah! Wah! Wah!" was her replied. Tears were flowing down, by now, she stood up and her arms reaching for me. I tried to be firm, and said, "Zara sleep on your own, mummy hold your hands, you lie down and sleep." She shook her head (NO NO NO). I laid her back down and held her hand. She sat up again, this time howling, and occasionally, not sure if it was acting, she made the vomiting sound, as though she's going to puke if I don't pick her up soon. Gosh, what am I to do now? The books said I should lay her down firmly, and tell her it would be ok, and be nearby so she can see me. But look at her, I can't do it. My mind working to look for an answer. Ok, Ok, I'll compromise. I carried her up. Immediately, she laid her head on my shoulder, the howling stopped, but she was still sobbing. I said, "mummy pat pat you, then you go back to sleep in the cot ok?". After the word has spoken, she raised her head, shook it, and started crying again. Ok ok, comfort her first. I started patting her again, and she calmed down. When I thought she was calmed, I put her back into the cot, and said, "Good girl, Zara, sleep on your own ok?". The howling started again. This repeated a few times. Daddy heard the commotion and came in to kay-poh(nosy) investigate. "What happened?" He asked. "Trying to train her to sleep on her own, but she's making a fuss." I replied. "Aiya, just let her sleep with us then." Zara saw Daddy to the rescue and started making the vomiting sound again, "URK! WAH WAH WAH! URK". Ok, I give up! I put her down on our bed. Miraculously, the tears stopped, but she still looked at me pathetically, it's like giving me the "aren't you going to sleep with me like you always do?" look. Ok, ok. I laid down next to her, and immediately, she wrapped her arms around mine, still sniffing, but drifting off to sleep. Zara 1, Mummy 0. Aigh. See, the small space I have to sleep on every night.

31 comments:

jazzmint said...

hehe gotta resort to ferber method liao...be heartless for few nites, then after that will see results :).

mom2ashley said...

hahaha kesian!....hey ashley does the puking thing too...cry cry cry until as though want to puke...sounds damn kesian. Good lukc in trying to train her to sleep in her own cot! hehehehhe

Samm said...

Gordon sleeps with me since newborn. Papa sleeps on the floor or in the next room to avoid kicking him.

TWO LITTLE FELLAS said...

three's a crowd now. soon it will be four's way too many :)
if your cot has removable railings, do try removing one side of the railing and attach it to the bed. Zara will be contented sleeping right next to you and it facilitate breastfeeding without having to get up..

Annie said...

First warning to Zara's mama : if that happens again, i'll call Teledera liao!! (scared ornot??)

Aiyo, so kesian....let her sleep with u lar... imagine, by the time she goes to school, she might not want u to be in her room also!! then u know!!

Extend the bed can ar?... see the picture, Zara slept so peacefully on ur bed...don't u miss that "scene"??

hahahahha!!! guilty ornot??

ky said...

Hahhaa, looks like it's going to be a tough training, especially if daddy is around. But, if you don't really mind co-sleeping with Zara, maybe papa can sleep on floor, so that his girl and woman can have more space on the bed? :P

Egghead said...

wah! LOL!
wait till she starts her helicopter spin :P

I hardly get a good night sleep nowadays... same goes for my wife :(

p/s: does insurance cover baby-kick-injuries?

Jason said...

Change to a bigger bed or fix another single bed at the side?

King's wife said...

wah, if me, sure roll down the floor already!
2 suggestions...get a king size, or u lose some weight and become thinner. LOL

two little fellas' idea is worth trying. lower/without railings, then push her cot alongside yours..

Cocka Doodle said...

Aiyoh...really kesian leh. Been down that road before also.
Some more when MOHA and I were 'doing it', on several occassions my baby daughter woke up and looked at us wide-eyed, wondering what's all that bed-rocking all about. LOL

*MOHA= Minister of Home Affairs

Passerby A said...

If I'm only allowed that teeny bit of space, I would definitely definitely roll on to the floor with a loud thud :P

Jesslyn said...

wow, zara still can sleep in her coat at this age ha! mine already kept in store room! sigh! I personally think bb coat is too small for them now, like a lockup..haha!
Place a mattress on the floor, sleep with her, later when she asleep, only u move to your own bed! Then only can enjoy sleeping ma! We need to work the next day le, if no good sleep, how to perform good the next day?

momm said...

natalie started sleeping on her own at 18 months. partly because we finally moved to our own house.

this was wat we did:
- she started sleeping on a single size mattress at 10 months on the floor. (she's a little too tall for the cot). next to our bed
- at 18 months, (when we got our new house) i would be lying down next to her on her mattress on the floor. once she falls asleep, i'd go back to my room.
- she'd then sleep till 7am and start wailing for milk.

try it!

Sue said...

I'm the same with Ivan... Ivan 1 Mummy 0... so kesian sometimes leave him to cry there, but I kudos to Jazzmint she really trained her girl by letting her cry, after few days no problem liao... :P But hor, still wanna pamper the little fella now, true when they get older, they don't even want use hugging them liao hehe

Lazymama said...

hehe, I 100% second Zara! Why she has to sleep alone and couldn't hug and sniff on mummy!

Hug her like bolster or sleep back facing her. Somemore you can have free back massage! :P

Mother Superior said...

I laughed when I saw the tiny space left for you. My daughter used to sleep horizontally between Hubby and I, like we were making an "H" on the bed. Oh, it caused too many aches for us.

Lin Peh said...

How to "do" when she is in the middle of the bed ? Lin Peh confuse ! ;-)

King's wife said...

linpeh,
never heard of sofa, kitchen table, staircase, or bathroom ah?

oops..this is a child-friendly blog. No need reply, ok?

*apologies to zara's mama*

blurblur said...

Zara very drama hor..hahaha..clever girl know how to "manja"..;P

Yup, on very very rare occasion when Damien sleeps with us, that's the space i'm left to sleep also..maybe narrower..cos Damien is bigger in size than Zara..haha

Zara's Mama said...

Jasmine,
See her cry until so 'chai liong' very hard to be heartless ler. Some more got vomiting sound.

Mom2Ashley,
I think it's part of their 'acting' to get what they want huh? The puking bit?

Samm,
Wah, Papa so poor thing. How did you manage to get steamy s*x in the night then? Must blog about it lah.. hahaha.

Two little fellas,
Welcome! *wink*
Now she's so naughty, she wants to have her arm wrap around me to sleep. URGH!!

Annie,
What is Teledera leh?

But yeah la yeah la.. guilty already la.

Cocka Doodle,
Wow.. you didn't pretend and started singing ROW, ROW, ROW Your boat or ONE, TWO, BUCKLE MY SHOE, THREE, FOUR, KNOCK ON THE DOOR?.. hahahaha.

The Diva,
That's why you see my situation is very pitiful.. So little space.. *sob*

Jesslyn,
I purposely bought her a very big cot ler, wanted to last her till she's 3yrs old.. It's still big enough for her, but she just refused to sleep only.

Byrdie,
I was actually trying to train her to fall asleep w/out me next to her. Because everynight, I use 30mins to lie there pretending to be asleep. She's ok if I move her to her cot once she's asleep (until she open her eyes again that is).

Sue,
Aah, you same situation as me? When 2nd one come how ah? 3 of you on the bed Daddy chuck one side?

Yeah loh, if you look at the +ve side of co-sleeping. Later, you want them to sleep with you also they don't want.

Jefferene,
Aiyo, how you do it? Hug her but back facing her? Yoga post?? LOL.

Mother Superior,
It's the same here. Middle of the night, we'll be doing the letter H & Y.

Linpeh,
You not enough 'quali' already. See King's Wife taught you new things.

King's Wife,
Still ok. At least he respects my blog and never comment in the F word.

Blurblur,
Aiyo, ker-lian you also. That time must really sleep still still, cannot do the Chinese word 'big' already when sleeping. :P

crazymommy said...

My gal sleeps with us all the time, and i didn't have the heart to do the "cry-it-out" method too. So, my DH and I always console ourselves that it's not like she is going to be sleeping with us all the time. When the times comes, she will be able to sleep by herself so we don't have to force ourselves to go thru this terrifying experience. Who knows, when she finally moves back to her bed, we may probably wish that she could sleep with us still. *giggles*

Fannie said...

It's the same for me, Agnes.

Left with a small space...PLUS a kung-fu kicking treatment.

What we do when we need privacy was...nurse Ethyl to sleep, place her in her cot (when she's in deeper sleep). After that, it's time for hubs and myself...

U might wana try? The cot is just next to me...but don't know why she just don't like to sleep in there.

maria aka twinsmom said...

sama-sama, Zara's mommy, the girls are 3 years old now, they still sleeping with us.
Anyway, how many years they can sleep with us? at most 5-6 years? then when they go to school, understand more, they slowly become independent, and never want to sleep with us anymore.
We tried to train the sleep alone too, but failed.
I never bother train them anymore, just let it be.

Allyfeel said...

I tried training bb to sleep on his own but failed too. He stood up and called mummy, I immediately woke up to make him milk but after that he refused to sleep back in the cot.

Oh ya..he made that puking cry too. My heart also lembut already. Not easy huh?

Helen said...

I agree with what Jesslyn said. I know u got a big cot, but it is easier to train her with the mattress u place on the floor. U sleep with her and then after Zara's asleep, u can climb back up your bed. I know Lin Peh is being naughty, but sad to say, he has a point. lol

It's healthy, relationshipwise, for u and hubby to have personal time for each other... I know both of u sayang Zara a lot (who wouldn't?:-)), but that aside, a man and woman's relationship should not be ignore either... lol

Baby Smooches said...

we're in the same boat! Our little Eryn also sleeps in-between daddy and mummy. Dunno who to let her sleep on her own next time. oh no!

Zara's Mama said...

Fannie,
Aiya, want privacy that time, I also do the same thing like you. Some more cover the cot up with mosquito net, even if she suddenly woke up also she cannot see what we're doing.. hahaha.

Maria,
You never know when they'll sleep with you until ler. My youngest sister's sons, 1 8yrs old, another 11yrs old, still sleeping with my sister and hubby. That's what I fear...

Allyfeel,
Looks like all baby when they cry also got puking sound woh! See they conspire to make us 'lembut' one.

Helen,
Got Zara already, I really don't give a hoot about hubby one.. He also knows.. :P
But of course we also must have couple time la.
Couple time that time, put Zara in the cot and cover the cot with mosquito net loh. :P

Baby smooches,
Eryn sleeps with you? Brendan leh?

yl said...

meant to say this: how come Zara's tears and crying can have an efficient on-off switch ar?!?!?! :P

Irene said...

Get a king size bed and then everyone can sleep in peace.

Until... Zara learns how to kung-fu/gymnatic dance while she's sleeping.

Anonymous said...

ZARA is way too cute... lol

from Maggie

Zara's Mama said...

YL,
This is called Cry on demand. :P

Irene,
She's already kungfu-ing now.. but luckily her punches and kicks not too hard yet.

Anonymous,
Maggie as in Maggie Han? Welcome!